We're back with more information and discussion about Mental Health.  Since we have come together here on the Blog for the purpose of discussing issues that concern our mental health and the mental health of those in our life, now is a good time to get your Journal out to continue taking notes.

In our last Blog Session, we were discussing Narcissistic Parents.  While not all parents are narcissistic, and in some cases only one parent is narcissistic, there are many people who have the serious issue of being in contact one way or another with narcissistic people.  It could be a boss or co-worker, a family member, an employee, or any person that you deal with on a daily basis.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder affects many people.  It is such an important issue that Psychology Today did a cover story on it . . .

Cover Story!

What Narcissism is (And Isn't)

Narcissism is a trait each of us exhibits to a greater or lesser degree.   It has become necessary to add the qualifier, "healthy", to specify the socially acceptable type of narcissism.  "It is the capacity to see ourselves and others through rose-colored glasses," says psychologist Craig Malkin, a Lecturer at Harvard Medical School and the Author of "Rethinking Narcissism".  That can be beneficial, because it's helpful for all of us to feel a bit special.  It fuels the confidence that allows us to take risks, like seeking a promotion or asking out an attractive stranger.  But feeling too special can cause problems.

There are some people that feel so special that they believe the world ends and begins with them.  That is a problem.

A diagnosis of pathological narcissism -- which is a mental health disorder -- involves different criteria.  "Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an extreme manifestation of the trait," says developmental psychologist Eddie Brummelman, a fellow at Stanford University.  The disorder can be diagnosed only by a Mental Health Professional, and is suspected when a person's narcissistic traits impair his or her daily functioning.  The dysfunction might be related to identity or self-direction or cause friction in relationships due to problems with empathy and intimacy.  It might also arise from pathological antagonism characterized by grandiosity and attention-seeking.

"A personality disorder is a pervasive disturbance in a person's ability to manage his or her emotions, hold onto a stable sense of self and identity, and maintain healthy relationships in work, friendship, and love,"  Malkin says.  "It's a matter of rigidity."

However, it is a mistake to assume that all narcissists will be such obvious preeners.  "Not all narcissists care about looks or fame or money,"  Malkin says.  "If you focus too much on the stereotype, you'll miss red flags that have nothing to do with vanity or greed."

For example, he suggests, some narcissists can be of the "communal" variety and actually devote their lives to helping others.  They might even agree with such statements as "I'm the most helpful person I know," or "I will be known for the good deeds I have done."  "Everyone has met grandiosely altruistic martyrs, self-sacrificing to the point where you can't stand to be in the room with them," Malkin says.

And there are highly introverted, or "vulnerable," narcissists.  These individuals feel they are more temperamentally sensitive than others.  They react poorly to even gentle criticism and need constant reassurance.  The way they feel special might actually be negative: They may see themselves as the ugliest person at the party or feel like a misunderstood genius in a world that refuses to recognize their gifts.

What all subtypes of narcissist have in common, Malkin says, is "self-enhancement."  Their thoughts, behaviors, and statements set them apart from others, and this feeling of distinction soothes them, because they're otherwise struggling with an unstable sense of self.

Narcissists feel superior to others,"  Brummelman says, "but they are not necessarily satisfied with themselves as a person."

The Narcissist

Photo by Dean Alexander

 "They have this constant need to have their greatness verified by the world around them.

When reality catches up with them, they may react by becoming depressed." 

When a clear setback, such as a job loss or divorce or even a plan being scuttled, dents the carefully burnished self-image of a narcissistic individual, "this is a real attack on who he is," says Steven Huprich, the president-elect of the International Society for the Study of Personality Disorders and a professor at the University of Detroit Mercy.  "Somebody he thought was going to trust him now very much dislikes him and is unwilling to put up with him anymore.  Not surprisingly, he finds himself a little more down and depressed."

Of course, even people with healthy mental states struggle to deal with such dramatic turnarounds, Huprich says, "but for narcissists and narcissistic personalities, loss is really very difficult, because it suggests vulnerability and weakness.  It suggests that you actually aren't immune to life's challenges and ups and downs."

The narcissist might also exhibit defensiveness and anger at such moments.  "When they don't get the admiration they crave, they feel ashamed and lash out aggressively," Brummelman says.  Others are unlikely to have the same sort of aggressive outbursts.

When a disappointment cuts through narcissists' thick layer of grandiosity and self-promotion and breaches their core, their resulting melancholy or boiling rage might motivate them to seek outside help.  The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), in fact, advises clinicians that individuals with NPD may present with a depressed mood.  They rarely, however, come in seeking treatment for their narcissism. "I've never heard anyone say, 'I think I'm a narcissistic personality,'" Huprich says.

That doesn't mean narcissists are oblivious to their trait.  A 2011 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology—titled, with a wink, "You Probably Think This Paper's About You"—reported that narcissists did have insight into their personality:  They described themselves as arrogant and knew that others saw them less positively than they saw themselves.  But they generally didn't see this as a problem, and the debate continues over whether their grandiosity reflects an ironclad belief in their superiority or masks an underlying absence of self-confidence.

Over years of research, Huprich and colleagues have developed a concept that may be related to narcissism.  They call it "malignant self-regard."  It's a potential explanation for a constellation of not-quite clinically diagnosable personality disorders with overlapping features, including depressive, self-defeating, and masochistic personality styles.

Applied more widely to narcissistic subtypes, the theory suggests that deep-seated insecurity about the self and an exceedingly fragile sense of self-esteem can lead to maladaptive thoughts and behavior.  Extraverted narcissists exhibit grandiose attention-seeking.  Vulnerable narcissists, meanwhile, simply succumb to their damaged self-image. "They're not able to keep a coherent sense of who they are, so when they are attacked, instead of fighting back, which is the first reaction of the grandiose narcissist, they have an immediate reaction of sadness and depletion and depression," Huprich says.

People may develop malignant self-regard as children in the context of their relationships, Huprich proposes.  These individuals may have had inconsistent experiences with their parents, related in particular to how success and achievement were recognized.  Parents might have refused to acknowledge achievements or discouraged bragging about them, taking away the rose-colored glasses of healthy narcissism that could have eased the way as a child encountered new challenges in life.

Are Narcissists Made or Born?

Childhood experiences may play a major role, but most experts agree that both high levels of trait narcissism and NPD arise from the combined influences of nature and nurture that likely begin in the genes.  "There are personality traits we come into the world with," says Kali Trzesniewski, a social-development psychologist at the University of California.  One's environment can either weaken or strengthen those traits, "though there are always people who don't seem to react to their environment; they're just kind of resilient to it."

One twin study found that narcissism was a highly heritable trait.  It can also manifest early in life:  Another study found that dramatic, aggressive, attention-seeking preschoolers were more likely to end up as narcissistic adults.  But parenting styles, the influence of other relationships, and one's social and cultural environments can encourage (or deter) its development.

As we wrap up today's Blog Session, be sure to make notes in your Journal about the information that has been shared today. . .

You may also want to use an online Journal or Diary for the Blog Sessions that have been going on this month about Mental Health.

For those Blog Followers, Readers & Visitors, if you'd like to make it a point from here on to take notes for your own personal mental health awareness, you may want to use your computer to map out your mental health areas that you'd like to keep your eye on.

We'll be back here with more tips on how to keep a Journal online or off for your mental health!

~ See you back here with your Journals & Diaries ~

Peace, Love & Light,

 René

©Copyright - René Allen - MAY 2017 - All Rights Reserved