Mental Health Awareness Month

May 2017

The Narcissist

We're back from our Coffee Break, and we are discussing the 16 Signs of a Narcissist.  We have covered the first 4 signs of a Narcissist, and everyone has been taking notes in their Journals.

Now while we started this discussion off talking about identifying girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses that could potentially be a narcissist, please remember that a narcissist can also be a parent, a boss, a sibling, a family member, a friend, or anyone you know.  Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes.

Narcissists are normally very nice looking and vain people, even if their personality makes them look ugly.

We are now continuing on with Sign #5 of the 16 Signs of a Narcissist . . .

#5  Do they spend a lot of time at the gym?

Let us be clear, not every gym addict is a narcissist, however you can normally pick out those who are.  The narcissist doesn’t go to the gym to keep fit, they go to make sure they look better than everybody else.  They will take any chance they get to show off their hard work and if the situation doesn’t arise, then they will make sure they create a situation to show off the hard work they have been putting in at the gym.

They will often bring up in conversation how many sit ups they did, or how far they ran for, just so they can be complimented by the listener, and feel better about themselves.

The Narcissist has a very competitive nature, and will always find opportunities to compete with you.  If you're doing something that brings you joy, you can bet that they will be doing whatever that thing is faster than lightening, and will make sure that they are better at it than you are!

Their goal is to make you feel inferior and/or incompetent.

[Ask Yourself:  Do you really want to deal with this type of person every day?]

#6   Do they always turn the conversation onto themselves?

Everyone likes to talk about themselves on the occasion but a narcissist takes it to another level.  It doesn’t matter what you are talking about, they will always manage to turn the conversation onto them, and their own issues.  They never really want to know anything about what you have to say.  If they begin listening to you, they will cut your conversation off and suddenly be distracted by something else so that they do not have to listen to you.  Or, they will over-talk you and get back to whatever it is that they want to say.

For example, if your friend is going through a break up, your narcissistic partner won’t ask your friend how they are doing, instead they will talk about a bad break up that they had.  If you are thinking about skydiving for charity, then they won’t ask you about it, they will instead think of something equally as awesome that they did, and they will tell you about it.

[Ask Yourself:  Can you deal with the selfishness of a narcissist for a prolonged period of time?]

#7  Do you feel like you have ever had their empathy?

This is a really good way of telling if you are in a narcissistic relationship or not, because a narcissist is incapable of empathy.  That really isn’t a joke, they are incapable of putting themselves into anyone else’s shoes but their own.  In fact, they will more likely than not remind you of how much they've done for you and how unappreciative you are.  And if you happen to be involved with a narcissistic person who has gone for many years without be called out on the carpet about their ways, they will become indignant when you mention their lack of compassion or arrogance.

Ask yourself this, the last big challenge you had to face, did your partner support you through it?  If the answer is no, then there is a good chance you are in a narcissistic relationship.

[Ask Yourself:  Do you really want to have someone around you that is judgmental, critical, and has absolutely no empathy?]

#8  Are they always focused on themselves?

Has your partner ever focused on something that didn’t directly involve them?  Have they ever reached out to help someone, when there was nothing in it for them?  If the answer is no, then you should know by now that you are likely to be in a narcissistic relationship.

The fact is that a narcissist only focuses on himself or herself, and if they do something for someone else, then it’s because they are getting something in return!

The return they get could be that it makes them look good, or it makes other people see them in a good light.  The return for them could also be that they meet a connection through you that they can influence for their own ends.

[Ask Yourself:  Do you really think that being around a person like this would be healthy for you?] 

At this point is where you need to get your Journal out before we go on to Signs 9 - 12 so that you can be sure to include this very important point about narcissists . . .

Narcissists always make you feel "trapped" . . .

Are you feeling trapped?

Learn more about the Narcissistic Personality in our next Blog Session so that you can be aware, do something about it, and stop feeling trapped.

We'll be back to go over Signs 9 - 12 in our next Blog Session ~ See you back here with your Journal!

Peace, Love & Light,

 René

©Copyright - René Allen - MAY 2017 - All Rights Reserved