Friday, June 30, 2017

Writers get ready!

Blog Session
June 30th, 2017


Writers we are about to get ready for Summer Camp!
Camp NaNoWriMo takes off tomorrow ~ July 1st, 2017.

If you were here for our last Blog Session, then you have notes about the exciting opportunity to get into July Summer Camp where participants have fun online writing Novels, short stories, writing projects, and whatever their heart desires.

If you have participated in National Novel Writing Month (which takes place every November), to write your 50,000 word Novel in 30 days, then you will be able to relate to taking time during the Summer to spend time online with other Writers just like you who have a Novel inside of them crying to come out.

What's so great about the upcoming July Summer Camp is that you have 31 days to complete your Novel or writing project.  That's an extra day which means a lot if you are trying to hit that 50,000 word count.

Let it be known that words have power!

Words build Novels!

Here's how it works, you don't start typing until the 1st.  On the 1st day of July, you get to your computer and begin typing.  As you type, your story unfolds.  Then you keep typing, and your characters start appearing one by one. Next thing you know, you have a storyline rolling.  Some Writers outline everything beforehand, but I don't like to do that.  I believe that the greatest stories are the ones you don't think about, you just let them flow out of you.

A helpful thing that will get your story rolling is to just think about something that has happened in your life, and start typing!

Believe me, it is a lot of fun.  So without further delay, just click on the link and get over to Camp NaNoWriMo and get your Novel moving right along.

We'll be back here tomorrow on July 1st to give your more tips . . .

Until then, friends ~ let your fingers build your Novel!


Camp NaNoWriMo here I come!

Peace, Love & Light,

 René


© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved


Thursday, June 29, 2017

Welcome Writer!

Welcome Writer!

BLOG SESSION
June 29th, 2017


You've entered into another exciting Blog Session.  If you were here with us in the last Session, you'll remember that we discussed, "Your Thoughts".  We took time to Journal our thoughts, and we also took stock of exactly what we have been thinking about.  Our goal in our last Blog Session was to determine if our thoughts were negative or positive.  We needed to ascertain if we have a habit of spending time thinking about uplifting things or those things that bring about a downward spiral.

Our thoughts have an awesome amount of power.  Our thoughts are our springboard to exciting living that is both meaningful and progressive.

When you take the time to Journal your thoughts and your feelings, you are better able to get a handle on what is going on inside of your head.  That is the reason why we stress using your Journal when you come here to the Blog Sessions.

Your Journal ~ Your Style

No matter what your Journal may look like, the most important thing you need to do is to get a Journal that you can identify with -- one that suits you and your personality.

If you like using a Diary, then by all means, use your Diary daily to keep up with your "self".  Daily Diary writing is such a wonderful tool to assess what is happening with you, and to make note of those things that are happening in your life.

The title of today's Blog Session is, "Welcome Writer!" ...
If you make it a point to write in your Journal or Diary daily then you will be well on your way to having a clearer picture of what is happening with you.

We discuss a lot of interesting topics here on the Blog, and of course we find the topics interesting.  We are Readers that enjoy reading interesting material.  What we're going to bring back to mind today is that we are Writers.  That is what each of us do.  We write.

Writer at work

If you don't think that you are a Writer, then after you get through writing in your Journal for about a month, you will change your mind.  Writing is a natural thing.

We have many Writers here amongst us, as well as Authors, Aspiring Authors, Emerging Authors, Novelists, Poets, Film Writers, Playwrights, and many Creative Writers.  This is a good thing, because there is something coming into view during the month of July called, Camp NaNoWriMo.

Suddenly, I feel some Readers wondering what in the world is she talking about?

If you have heard of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), then you are probably familiar with Camp NaNoWriMo.

National Novel Writing Month takes place every year in the month of November.  Camp NaNoWriMo, which is a Summer Camp for Authors & Writers, (and those who love to write) is a fun way to take some time this Summer to write the Novel you've been putting off.

July 1st is the day to roll into Camp NaNoWriMo...

Just click on the link to check out the Camp.  You'll be able to do all of the following in Camp . . .
  • Complete a writing project in a month
  • Track your progress
  • Get online support
  • Free to participants
  • 100% fun!
If you have participated in NaNoWriMo in the past, then you will have a lot of fun going to Camp NaNoWriMo this Summer!

If you are new to Camp NaNoWriMo, but have participated in NaNoWriMo online during the month of November, then you can use your NaNoWriMo account info to log into Camp.

If you are going to Camp NaNoWriMo for the first time, then you can sign up by clicking on the  "Join Now" button on the landing page.  Once you click on the Join Now button, then you will be taken to another page where you will be able to create your Camper account.  Then once you've created your Camper account, you can get your cabin where you will be able to write your masterpiece during the month of July.  You have 31 days to do so, and you'll enjoy every minute of it!

We'll be back tomorrow with more about Camp NaNoWriMo. You can best believe I'll be in Camp during the month of July, because it is so much fun, and I love to WRITE!

Until our next Blog Session ~

Peace, Love & Light,

 René


© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved


Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Your thoughts

Your thoughts


Your thoughts are important, and you should be watchful of your thoughts, because your thoughts are ideas or opinions that are produced by thinking.  Suddenly your mind will form a thought.  The type of thoughts that are formed suddenly in your mind can propel you to take action that will move you in a particular direction, or your thoughts could possibly cause you to freeze and become unproductive.

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.  Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.  Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.  Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.  Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny. — Chinese proverb, author unknown

As we jump into our next Blog Session, please take a moment to grab your Journal or your Composition Notebook and get ready to write notes on the parts of this discussion that capture your attention.

Journaling your Thoughts
and
Taking Notes

As you filter your thoughts, you will learn to actively take control of what you are thinking.  In time you will learn to pay attention to both your negative as well as positive thoughts.  Your emotions influence what you are thinking.  As you learn to still yourself, you will find that you can better control your emotions, which in turn helps you to take control of your thoughts.
When you find yourself flooded with a negative emotion(s), the following practices can help you find your way back to your core of balance, peace, and well-being...
• Resist the impulse to ignore your feelings, push them away, or judge them as bad.  Instead ask your thoughts what they are trying to tell you.  Analyze your thoughts.  All emotions, including the most difficult ones, exist for a reason -- and that reason is to help you.   Your thoughts will help you to tune into the message your body wants you to hear.
• Be objective.  If you identify personally with negativity and think, I am angry, depressed, miserable, stressed out, disgusted, etc., it will be extremely difficult to detach and let go.  Learn to see all emotions as only energy, like electricity that flows through you but isn’t about you.
• Practice self-compassion.  If you feel overwhelmed, tell yourself, “Whatever fear says, nothing can destroy me.  I’m having a strong reaction right now, but it isn’t the real me. This too shall pass."
• Take responsibility.  If you find yourself reacting to certain situations in the same way, ask yourself what you need to learn in order to change your automatic response. Automatic responses can be detrimental to your well-being if those auto responses cause you to repeat destructive behavior patterns. 
• Meditate.  Meditation is one of the best ways to loosen the grip of sticky emotions and connect to our true self.  In meditation we disrupt the unconscious progression of thoughts and emotions by focusing on a new object of attention.  For example, if you choose to use Prayerful Meditation, your object of attention becomes a prayer that is meditated upon for your well-being, and the well-being of your loved ones. 
Another way to meditate is to use mantras.  A mantra is pure sound, with no meaning or emotional charge to trigger associations.  It allows the mind to detach from its usual preoccupations and experience the spaciousness and calm within.  In the silence of awareness, the mind lets go of old patterns of thinking and feeling and learns to heal itself.
It is at this time that you should just write out the thoughts that you have been dwelling on and assess whether they have been positive or negative.  Evaluate the quality of your thoughts.  Are your thoughts uplifting, or do they bring you down spiritually?  Take a moment to still yourself...
Prayerfully consider your thoughts.

Friends use this evening to meditate

and 

Journal your thoughts.


We'll see each other back here in our next Blog Session!

Peace, Love & Light,

 René


© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved

Empathic Listening Ear

Empathic Listening Ear

Blog Session
June 2017


Good Morning Blog Readers, Followers & Visitors ~ Welcome back to the Blog!  If you are new here, now is the time to make yourself comfortable, because you are among wonderful people who are interested in keeping up with interesting topics, as well as writing in our Journals for the purpose of self-discovery.

Please take a moment to Bookmark our Blog now, and if you like, you may follow by Email by adding your Email address where it says, "Follow by Email" in the right-hand column under my eyeball, then click the "Submit" button. You'll receive Emails for each Blog Session, and by doing so, you won't miss a thing.

In our last Blog Session we discussed emotional baggage and how to get rid of our emotional baggage.  We are going to continue our discussion by adding in a little something here at this point that many of us fail to take into consideration...

Empathic Listening

The Benefits of Empathic Listening



Empathic listening (also called active listening or reflective listening) is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust.  It is an essential skill for third parties and disputants alike, as it enables the listener to receive and accurately interpret the speaker's message, and then provide an appropriate response.  The response is an integral part of the listening process and can be critical to the success of relationships, family interactions, teams, clubs, groups, businesses, and negotiation or mediation.  Among its benefits, empathic listening . . . 

  1.  builds trust and respect,
  2.  enables people and/or disputants to release their  emotions,
  3.  reduces tensions and stress,
  4.  encourages the surfacing of information, and
  5.  creates a safe environment that is conducive to  collaborative problem solving.
We are discussing Emphatic Listening because this helps with understanding others, which in turn could possibly answer the many questions surrounding the baggage that you may be carrying from past incidents or current ones.

Remember, we are talking about getting rid of the baggage we carry.  That baggage may include:

1.    Guilt
2.    Anger
3.    Depression
4.    Fear
5.    Emotional Unrest
6.    Rejection
7.    Blame
8.    Resentment
9.    Betrayal
10.  Emotional Pain
11.   Past Abuse
12.  Hurt feelings
13.  Sadness
14.  Unhappiness
15.   Jealousy
16.   Envy
17.   Unresolved Grief
18.   Low Self-Esteem
19.   Hopelessness
20.  Lack of Faith
21.   Unforgiveness
22.   Disappointments
23.   Addictions
24.   Toxic Relationships
25.   Relationships wherein there was never closure

...and possibly other weights that are not listed above.

Though useful for everyone involved in a conflict, the ability and willingness to listen with empathy is often what sets the person who is willing to have a break-thru from a person who wants to continue to wallow in dismal drama.

Discover How to Listen with Empathy


Empathy is the ability to project oneself into the personality of another person in order to better understand that person's emotions or feelings.  Through empathic listening the listener lets the speaker know, "I understand your problem and how you feel about it, I am interested in what you are saying and I am not judging you."  The listener unmistakably conveys this message through words and non-verbal behaviors, including body language.  In so doing, the listener encourages the speaker to fully express herself or himself free of interruption, criticism or being told what to do.  It is neither advisable nor necessary for the listener to agree with the speaker, even when asked to do so.  It is usually sufficient to let the speaker know, "I understand you and I am interested in being a resource to help you resolve this problem."
Listening with Empathy is how problems are effectively solved.
Coming into an agreement.
Many times when it comes to business relationships and partnerships, listening with empathy is how many problems are solved.  It is also an excellent way to come together to face any challenges that may arise.  It is much easier to agree with one another earnestly when you have taken the time to listen empathically along the way.
When it comes to baggage, you need to take out your Journal and really take the time to write down your areas of baggage that have been weighing you down...

Emotional Baggage


If you have your Journal handy, here is where you take the time to do an assessment of what is going on with you and your Emotional Baggage.

First off, write down in your Journal what your feelings are about where you are in your life at this point?

Secondly, make sure that you Journal about what you feel in a very honest and frank way.  This is for your own benefit. You will gain plenty of insight if you are honest with yourself and really push everything else aside for your personal Journal time.

Third, ask yourself:  What are my expectations?  What are you expecting from yourself?  What have you been wasting your time doing in terms of expecting something from others that you have not been receiving?

Forth, your hopes and dreams are worthy of note.  What are your hopes & dreams?  Have you taken the time to write down what you are hoping and dreaming about for your future?  If not, why not?

Fifth, honestly and accurately do a self-reflection.  Ask yourself:  What broken dreams have been weighing you down?  Then go a step further, and write those broken dreams down.  Why do you feel those particular dreams are broken?  What got in the way?  What makes you think that you cannot accomplish what you hope and dream for?

And lastly, for your Journal, listen intently to your heart. Write down your expectations.  Be sure to stretch yourself. Do not expect small things. Although you should despise not the day of small things, you should also not short yourself so to speak. . .

Dream BIG!  Expect MUCH!
You deserve the best life has to offer.

We'll be back later on today to discuss much more...

Until we return, enjoy your early morning coffee break...

Coffee Break


Peace, Love & Light,

 René


© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Get Rid of Your Emotional Baggage . . .

Get Rid of Your Emotional Baggage . . .

Blog Session
June 2017


If you are ready to tackle the issue of emotional baggage, then you are in the right place.  Our Blog Session today will dive into the emotional baggage that many of us, and the people we know carry around with us daily.  It is time to identify it, Journal about it, and get rid of it.

If you are new to our Blog Sessions, then you will want to get a Journal so that you may take notes, and also journal your thoughts and feelings as we go through our Blog Sessions. You will find Journaling to be a very valuable and helpful practice.  So at this point, grab your Journal, Diary, or Notebook so that you may begin to take notes...

Journal time!

The older we get, the worse it gets if we don't recognize that we have emotional baggage holding us back, and holding us down.

Make a note in your Journal that Emotional Baggage consist of unresolved issues of an emotional nature that oftentimes can be detrimental to your well-being.

Emotional baggage comes in a variety of different forms.  One of the main sources of baggage is "Rejection".
  
  1. Rejection actually activates the same pathways in your brain as physical pain, which is one reason why it hurts so much.  The feeling of rejection toys with your innate need to belong, and for some people, it is so painful and distressing that it interferes with your ability to think, recall memories and make decisions.  The sooner you let go of painful rejections, the better off your mental health will be.

One of the main problems with carrying baggage around, other than the fact that it weighs you down and gets in the way of your progress, is that people tend to "ruminate" over their baggage.

  1. When you ruminate, or brood, over a past hurt, the memories you replay in your mind only become increasingly distressing and cause more anger — without providing any new insights.  In other words, while reflecting on a painful event can help you to reach an understanding or closure about it, ruminating simply increases your stress levels.

The other big bag that people tend to carry around is "blame".  When things go wrong in your life, blaming others is the easy way to turn the finger from pointing at yourself to someone else.  While it may make you feel better for a moment, it is not wise to hold on to such a bad habit.  It is not anyone else's fault for your problems, failures, short-comings, or insecurities.  And, even if it were someone else's fault, what good will carrying the baggage of blame around do for you?

Keep this in mind:  You are not helpless, nor hopeless.

  1. If you allow yourself to feel "helpless" after a failure, or "blame" it on someone else, or your lack of ability or bad luck, it's likely to lower your self-esteem.  Blaming a failure on specific factors within your control, such as planning and execution, is likely to be less damaging, but even better is focusing on ways you can improve and be better informed so you can succeed next time.

What about the real heavy luggage that we carry around called, "guilt".  Do you find yourself carrying around guilt?

  1. Guilt can be beneficial in that it can stop you from doing something that may harm another person (making it a strong "relationship protector").  But guilt that lingers can impair your ability to focus and enjoy life.  If you still feel guilty after apologizing for a wrongdoing, be sure you have expressed empathy toward them, which will likely lead to forgiveness.

Do you have a problem forgiving others?  Is it something that you struggle with, and you know it is weighing you down? Are you able to have compassion or empathy for others?  Are you so self-centered that you cannot put yourself in another person's shoes?  Do you find it hard to believe that other people have feelings just like you do?  Have you ever taken the time to discuss an issue that has been weighing you down with the very person who is connected to that issue?  Do you enjoy playing the martyr?  Could your thinking process be totally off track and you have been told this many times, but you insist on always being right?  Is it possible that the person responsible for your problems and issues is YOU?

Many times, our thoughts and judgments are the source of our emotional pain.

The human mind,  inherently impatient, triggers emotional reactions when our ideas about how things should be collide with how things are.  We sometimes torment ourselves about choices we’ve made, words we’ve spoken, and the path or paths not taken.  Or we dwell on the future, postponing our happiness with thoughts about what is missing or wrong in the present moment.

We must understand clearly that the mind has a lifetime of conditioned beliefs and expectations through which it filters all perceptions.  While the body spontaneously lets go of pain the moment the underlying cause is healed, the mind has a mysterious instinct for holding on.  Through the mind, we create a prison of suffering and then forget that we are the architect and that we ourselves hold the key that will set us free.
Even after years of emotional healing work, we all sometimes make the mistake of believing that something “out there” makes us angry, depressed, anxious, or afraid.  In reality, outside events are only triggers.  The cause of every emotion is within.  By uncovering the false perceptions that cause us to cling to pain, we can open to a deep experience of peace.
In our next Blog Session, we will discuss ways in which you may find your way back to your core of balance, peace, and well-being.  Our  main objective is to get rid of the baggage...

Friends ~ See you in our next Blog Session!

until then . . .

Peace, Love & Light,

 René


© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved    

Monday, June 26, 2017

Dealing with Emotional Abuse

Dealing with Emotional Abuse

Blog Session
June 2017


There are many issues that are not discussed on a regular basis.  However, there are many issues that take place on a regular basis.  Somewhere at this very moment, many people are being emotionally abused; many others are recovering from emotional abuse; and many more are the ones who are the emotional abusers.

Welcome to all New Blog Readers, Followers and Visitors to the Blog . . .

This Blog Session is about Emotional Abuse. Emotional pain often exacts a greater toll on your quality of life than physical pain.  The stress and negative emotions associated with any trying event can even lead to physical pain and disease.  In fact, emotional stress is linked to health problems including chronic inflammation, lowered immune function, increased blood pressure, altered brain chemistry, increased tumor growth and more.

Of course, emotional pain can be so severe that it interferes with your ability to enjoy life and, in extreme cases, may even make you question whether your life is worth living.
Unfortunately, there are many children that go through emotional abuse.  There are children that are bullied by the other children at school, and there are also many children who are bullied by their parents and sometimes teachers at school.
Being Labeled, Called Names, Bullied
How does the above picture make you feel?  Have you experienced what this picture invokes?  How many times have you been called out of your name?
If you can remember incidences from your youth, then those incidents made an impression upon your mind, body, spirit & soul.
Somewhere in your subconscious mind, your memory will regurgitate those awful moments at the most inopportune times.  Someone may have called you "stupid" 30 years ago, and you happen to run into someone at a party who says to you, "you stupid fool."  ~ and oh boy!  That person gets punched in the face because it is what you have always wanted to do to the first person who ever said that to you and made you feel badly about yourself.  Even though the person who says, "you stupid fool." ~ was only kidding and laughing when they said it.  That is how misunderstandings happen. And that is also how hurt feelings rise to the surface.
Many of our Readers here may be in need of Emotional First Aid, or may know someone who needs it.  We're going to get our Journals out for today's Blog Session, and write down five tips for healing your emotional pain . . .
Journal Notes
Healing Emotional Pain

Five Tips for healing your emotional pain:
1)  Let Go of Rejection
Rejection actually activates the same pathways in your brain as physical pain, which is one reason why it hurts so much.  The feeling of rejection toys with your innate need to belong, and is so distressing that it interferes with your ability to think, react, recall memories and make decisions.  The sooner you let go of painful rejections, the better off your mental health will be.
2)  Avoid Ruminating
When you ruminate, or brood, over a past hurt, the memories you replay in your mind only become increasingly distressing and cause more anger, without providing any new insights.  In other words, while reflecting on a painful event can help you to reach an understanding or closure about it, if you are ruminating about it, it simply increases your stress levels, and can actually be addictive.
       Ruminating on a stressful incident can also increase your
       levels of C-reactive protein, a marker of inflammation in
       your body linked to cardiovascular disease.

3)  Turn Failure Into Something Positive
If you allow yourself to feel helpless after a failure, or blame it on your lack of ability or bad luck, it’s likely to lower your self-esteem.  Blaming a failure on specific factors within your control, such as planning and execution, is likely to be less damaging, but even better is focusing on ways you can improve and be better informed or prepared so you can succeed next time (and make sure that you try again, so there is a next time).
4)  Make Sure Guilt Remains a Useful Emotion
Guilt can be beneficial in that it can stop you from doing something that may harm another person (making it a strong "relationship protector").  But guilt that lingers or is excessive can impair your ability to focus and enjoy life.
       If you still feel guilty after apologizing for a wrongdoing, 
       be sure you have expressed empathy toward them and
       conveyed that you understand how your actions impacted
       them.  This will likely lead to authentic forgiveness and 
       relief of your guilty feelings.

5)  Use Self-Affirmations if You Have Low Self-
      Esteem
    
       While positive affirmations are excellent tools for 
       emotional health, if they fall outside the boundaries of 
       your beliefs, they may be ineffective.  This may be the
       case for people with low self-esteem, for whom self-
       affirmations may be more useful.  Self-affirmations, such
       as “I have a great work ethic,” can help to reinforce 
       positive qualities you believe you have, as can making a 
       list of your best qualities.

Embrace Life!

Taking care of your emotional health

Just as eating healthy, exercising and getting a good night’s sleep are habits that must be held to in order to be effective, your emotional health requires ongoing care as well.  And, just like your physical body, your mind can only take so much stress before it breaks down.  Yet many neglect to tend to their emotional health with the same devotion they give to their physical well-being.  This is a mistake, but one that’s easily remedied with the following tips for emotional nurturing . . .

1. Be an Optimist
Looking on the bright side increases your ability to experience happiness in your day-to-day life while helping you cope more effectively with stress.
2. Have Hope
Having hope allows you to see the light at the end of the tunnel, helping you push through even dark, challenging times.  Accomplishing goals, even small ones, can help you to build your level of hope.
3. Accept Yourself
Self-deprecating remarks and thoughts will shroud your mind with negativity and foster increased levels of stress. Seek out and embrace the positive traits of yourself and your life, and avoid measuring your own worth by comparing yourself to those around you.
4. Stay Connected
Having loving and supportive relationships helps you feel connected and accepted, and promote a more positive mood. Intimate relationships help meet your emotional needs, so make it a point to reach out to others to develop and nurture these relationships in your life.
5. Express Gratitude
People who are thankful for what they have are better able to cope with stress, have more positive emotions, and are better able to reach their goals.  The best way to harness the positive power of gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal or list, where you actively write down exactly what you’re grateful for each day.  Doing so has been linked to happier moods, greater optimism and even better physical health.
6. Find Your Purpose and Meaning
When you have a purpose or goal that you’re striving for, your life will take on a new meaning that supports your mental well-being.  If you’re not sure what your purpose is, explore your natural talents and interests to help find it, and also consider your role in intimate relationships and ability to grow spiritually.
7. Master Your Environment
When you have mastery over your environment, you’ve learned how to best modify your unique circumstances for the most emotional balance, which leads to feelings of pride and success.  Mastery entails using skills such as time management and prioritization along with believing in your ability to handle whatever life throws your way.

8. Exercise Regularly
Exercise boosts levels of health-promoting neurochemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, which may help buffer some of the effects of stress and also relieve some symptoms of depression.  Rather than viewing exercise as a medical tool to lose weight, prevent disease, and live longer (which are all benefits that occur in the future), try viewing exercise as a daily tool to immediately enhance your frame of mind, reduce stress and feel happier.
9. Practice Mindfulness
Practicing "mindfulness" means that you’re actively paying attention to the moment you’re in right now.  Rather than letting your mind wander, when you’re mindful you’re living in the moment and letting distracting or negative thoughts pass through your mind without getting caught up in their emotional implications.  Mindfulness can help you reduce stress for increased well-being as well as achieve undistracted focus.

Practice Mindfulness

Friends take care of your "self", mind, body & soul.

See you in the next exciting Blog Session!

Peace, Love & Light,

 René


© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved