MAY 2017 - Mental Health Awareness Month

Good Afternoon Blog Readers, Followers, and Visitors ~ If you have not already Bookmarked our Blog, please do so.   You are also invited to follow by Email so that you can keep up with our mental health discussions going on this month.  If you happen to be a Google+ user, feel free to add me to your Circle.

We are going to be discussing the topics of: Loss, Grief, and Bereavement in today's Blog Session.  Many are struggling with the loss of a loved one.  In some cases it has been expected, and in other cases it is a sudden and unexpected traumatic loss.

While everyone handles grief differently, there are some common myths about grief that we need to take a look at...

We do not all grieve in the same way, and we do not all grieve for the same length of time.  There is no certain cut-off for when grief is over.  It is not necessarily true that it is better to not think or talk about the pain you may be experiencing over the death of a loved one.  It may be more helpful for some people to talk about their grief and express their thoughts with friends and family members, or to express their feelings in their Journal or Diary.  For others, it may be painful to discuss their loss, and it may take time before they are able to talk about it or deal with it.

There is one area that is not often discussed about grief, and that is "anger".  Often people who have lost a loved one may be very angry about the death of their loved one.  The anger can stem from any number of reasons.  Their loved one may have been murdered, or lost their life in the military, or lost their life to a long medical battle.  The anger could be directed at others, or at God.

Many times, people become angry over the loved ones possessions.  Often times there are legal battles surrounding the death of loved ones that can cause anger.

There are effective ways in which to deal with anger.  There are also ineffective ways to deal with anger.  Lashing out at others is not helpful nor is it progressive.  Neither is drinking or doing drugs the answer to solve anger issues.  If there is a need for therapy or counseling, it is wise to seek assistance.

Helpful ways to deal with anger include writing, exercising, reading your favorite books, doing artworks or your favorite hobby, listening to your favorite music, meditation, prayer, Bible Studies, counseling, therapy, walking in nature, and finding joyful outlets.

Grief, the emotional response to a loss differs from the concept of bereavement or mourning -- the "culturally patterned behavioral response to a death." (Andrews and Boyle 1995: 366.)

Annemarie Bezold, Coordinator of the Grief Program in Fairfax County Community Services Board in Virginia conducts a monthly support group for families who have lost a child either in pregnancy or in the first year of life.  While some parents find strength, comfort, and solace in spirituality and religion as they mourn, others experience more of a "roller coaster" relationship with God. (Personal communication with author August 30, 2007) Some question, "How could a loving God let this happen?"  Some struggle with their relationship with God as they go from angry to alienated, and then for many, eventual comfort again when they reconnect with God.

Some find comfort by believing that their baby is in "God's hands" or has been united with deceased relatives.  Some parents have viewed their child's end of life as a "spiritual journey."  (Robinson et al 2006).  Not all parents find comfort in religion or spirituality when it comes to grief as evidenced by Balzer (2003) who describes his unsuccessful efforts to connect with a god; but he was able to find a "more peaceful and accepting relationship with the world through the death of his four-month old son."

Children also experience bereavement and loss.  Although often ignored, it is important to recognize that children may not only have emotional, but also spiritual needs.  For more information about the spirituality of children,  click here.

Just as they go through developmental stages related to spirituality, children also developmentally approach grief.  Moving from no cognitive understanding of death to seeing it as temporary and reversible to a realization that it is final and irreversible impacts a child's understanding of and response to the events around him or her.  It is not until pre-adolescence (8 - 12 years) that a child has an adult's understanding of death.

Grief and developmental concepts of death are explained by Himebauch et al. (2005) in a helpful fact sheet for families and providers.

Horchler and Rice, writing a "survival guide" about SUID and infant death, devote an entire chapter to "Children Grieving Children."  Child authors range in age from five to fourteen years.  Several relate to their grief on a spiritual and religious level.

Child grieving

As you write in your Journal or Diary today about today's Mental Health Blog Session, please make a note of any areas discussed today that may help you or someone that you know.  If you feel that someone may be in need of your support, and you are not sure how to reach out to them, remember a kind word is always welcomed by those who may be grieving the loss of a loved one.

The following chart may also be helpful for everyone to print out as it relates to certain symptoms that are not characteristic of a "normal" grief reaction.  The chart also helps to differentiate bereavement from a Major Depressive Episode . . .

The above chart list six areas to consider . . .

1)  guilt about things other than actions taken or not taken by

     the survivor at the time of death;

2)  thoughts of death other than the survivor feeling that he

      or she would be better off dead or should have died with

      the deceased person;

3)  morbid preoccupation with worthlessness;

4)  marked psychomotor retardation;

5)  prolonged and marked functional impairment; and

6)  hallucinatory experiences other than thinking that he or

      she hears the voice of or transiently sees the image of, the

      deceased person.

As we end our Blog Session today, take a moment to relax your mind, listen to some calming music, and then write your feelings and thoughts in your Journal or Diary.

Use your Journal as your own personal Therapy

Until next time . . .

Peace, Love & Light,

 René

©Copyright - René Allen - MAY 2017 - All Rights Reserved