Empathic Listening Ear

Empathic Listening Ear

Blog Session

June 2017

Good Morning Blog Readers, Followers & Visitors ~ Welcome back to the Blog!  If you are new here, now is the time to make yourself comfortable, because you are among wonderful people who are interested in keeping up with interesting topics, as well as writing in our Journals for the purpose of self-discovery.

Please take a moment to Bookmark our Blog now, and if you like, you may follow by Email by adding your Email address where it says, "Follow by Email" in the right-hand column under my eyeball, then click the "Submit" button. You'll receive Emails for each Blog Session, and by doing so, you won't miss a thing.

In our last Blog Session we discussed emotional baggage and how to get rid of our emotional baggage.  We are going to continue our discussion by adding in a little something here at this point that many of us fail to take into consideration...

Empathic Listening

The Benefits of Empathic Listening

Empathic listening (also called active listening or reflective listening) is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust.  It is an essential skill for third parties and disputants alike, as it enables the listener to receive and accurately interpret the speaker's message, and then provide an appropriate response.  The response is an integral part of the listening process and can be critical to the success of relationships, family interactions, teams, clubs, groups, businesses, and negotiation or mediation.  Among its benefits, empathic listening . . . 

1.  builds trust and respect,
2.  enables people and/or disputants to release their  emotions,
3.  reduces tensions and stress,
4.  encourages the surfacing of information, and
5.  creates a safe environment that is conducive to  collaborative problem solving.

We are discussing Emphatic Listening because this helps with understanding others, which in turn could possibly answer the many questions surrounding the baggage that you may be carrying from past incidents or current ones.

Remember, we are talking about getting rid of the baggage we carry.  That baggage may include:

1.    Guilt

2.    Anger

3.    Depression

4.    Fear

5.    Emotional Unrest

6.    Rejection

7.    Blame

8.    Resentment

9.    Betrayal

10.  Emotional Pain

11.   Past Abuse

12.  Hurt feelings

13.  Sadness

14.  Unhappiness

15.   Jealousy

16.   Envy

17.   Unresolved Grief

18.   Low Self-Esteem

19.   Hopelessness

20.  Lack of Faith

21.   Unforgiveness

22.   Disappointments

23.   Addictions

24.   Toxic Relationships

25.   Relationships wherein there was never closure

...and possibly other weights that are not listed above.

Though useful for everyone involved in a conflict, the ability and willingness to listen with empathy is often what sets the person who is willing to have a break-thru from a person who wants to continue to wallow in dismal drama.

Discover How to Listen with Empathy

Empathy is the ability to project oneself into the personality of another person in order to better understand that person's emotions or feelings.  Through empathic listening the listener lets the speaker know, "I understand your problem and how you feel about it, I am interested in what you are saying and I am not judging you."  The listener unmistakably conveys this message through words and non-verbal behaviors, including body language.  In so doing, the listener encourages the speaker to fully express herself or himself free of interruption, criticism or being told what to do.  It is neither advisable nor necessary for the listener to agree with the speaker, even when asked to do so.  It is usually sufficient to let the speaker know, "I understand you and I am interested in being a resource to help you resolve this problem."

Listening with Empathy is how problems are effectively solved.

Coming into an agreement.

Many times when it comes to business relationships and partnerships, listening with empathy is how many problems are solved.  It is also an excellent way to come together to face any challenges that may arise.  It is much easier to agree with one another earnestly when you have taken the time to listen empathically along the way.

When it comes to baggage, you need to take out your Journal and really take the time to write down your areas of baggage that have been weighing you down...

Emotional Baggage

If you have your Journal handy, here is where you take the time to do an assessment of what is going on with you and your Emotional Baggage.

First off, write down in your Journal what your feelings are about where you are in your life at this point?

Secondly, make sure that you Journal about what you feel in a very honest and frank way.  This is for your own benefit. You will gain plenty of insight if you are honest with yourself and really push everything else aside for your personal Journal time.

Third, ask yourself:  What are my expectations?  What are you expecting from yourself?  What have you been wasting your time doing in terms of expecting something from others that you have not been receiving?

Forth, your hopes and dreams are worthy of note.  What are your hopes & dreams?  Have you taken the time to write down what you are hoping and dreaming about for your future?  If not, why not?

Fifth, honestly and accurately do a self-reflection.  Ask yourself:  What broken dreams have been weighing you down?  Then go a step further, and write those broken dreams down.  Why do you feel those particular dreams are broken?  What got in the way?  What makes you think that you cannot accomplish what you hope and dream for?

And lastly, for your Journal, listen intently to your heart. Write down your expectations.  Be sure to stretch yourself. Do not expect small things. Although you should despise not the day of small things, you should also not short yourself so to speak. . .

Dream BIG!  Expect MUCH!

You deserve the best life has to offer.

We'll be back later on today to discuss much more...

Until we return, enjoy your early morning coffee break...

Coffee Break

Peace, Love & Light,

 René

© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved

BLOG SESSION

June 2017

Good Afternoon Blog Readers, Followers & Visitors ~ You have just stepped into our next Blog Session where we are asking you to get your Journals out, your ink pen, and get ready to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Today we are doing a quick review of a subject matter that we had discussed previously in one of our other Blog Sessions.  It is called, "empathy" . . .

em·pa·thy ~ /ˈempəTHē/

Empathy is the ability to understand

and share the feelings of another.

How often do you honestly use empathy in your day to day life?

In our last Blog Session we discussed OCPD ~ Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, and hypersensitivity. We also talked about how those with OCPD have the capacity to experience great emotional depth because of their hypersensitivity.

What everyone needs to jot down in their Journals is this...

"People with OCPD have a natural gift for empathy."

Where does hypersensitivity come into the picture?

As we discussed in our last Blog Session, people with OCPD have the capacity to experience great emotional depth because of their hypersensitivity.  They are able to feel emotions that most of the world will never be able to feel or understand. People with emotional sensitivity also have a heightened sense of the emotions of others.  People with OCPD have the ability to see right through surface level communication.  In an instant, people with OCPD can assess the body language and tone of voice of others and figure out the true emotions behind all the masks that people put on. Some people with extreme emotional sensitivity, possess a near-psychic ability to sense even the history of emotions, hurts, and pains of others.  And, there are some people who can even sense the pain and suffering of a collective group of people.  Those with OCPD have all the right tools to enrich the lives of others through empathy.

Why then are there so many people with OCPD who do not practice their natural gift for empathy?  The answer is anxiety.

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.  Anxiety is akin to fear.

If you are a person with OCPD, in order to redeem your natural gift for empathy, you'll need to face your fear of negative emotions.  This fear cannot be faced, however, if you continue to make use of the very things that prevent you from experiencing your emotions.   Therefore, you must resist the urge to use your defense mechanisms.

When negative emotions are no longer things that need to be feared and avoided, people with OCPD can then begin to feel the negative emotions of others.  It is nothing to be afraid of, nor is this ability to be feared.  What happens is that you as a person with OCPD, will be able to empathize with those who need your support.  Empathy is a "gift" to be shared.

"Empathy is a "gift" to be shared."

Putting yourself in another person's shoes is what we are talking about here today.  That is what empathy is all about. It is about learning to get out of your shoes for a minute, and put on the shoes of someone in need of help with emotional pain, negative emotions, bad feelings, depression, problems, issues, and in some cases dire circumstances.  If you are able to feel the emotions of others, then you are able to empathize with them.  This is not for the faint of heart.

You'll need to inspire yourself.  Lift yourself up mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Once you equip yourself, you will be better able to assist others.  You will be able to truly empathize with another person and help them through their pain.

Many people are hurting on a daily basis, and you may not be aware of what they are going through if you choose to ignore your gift of "empathy".  Just walking past someone instead of stopping to say a kind word to them is how cold, callus, and uncaring people lose touch with their empathic side.  A smile can go a long way.

Asking someone how they are doing, and really being sincere about the question is something that is rare these days. Kindness has gone by the way-side.  And we need to do something about it.

Learn how to care . . .

Empathize

Listen

As we sign out for today's Blog Session, I'll leave you with this thought for the next person you come in contact with who may need your support . . .

"...get ready to put yourself in someone else's shoes."

Have a blessed day until we meet here again Friends ~

Peace, Love & Light,

 René

© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved