BLOG SESSION

June 2017

Well here we are again to give you information for your Journals.  Today we are going to be discussing the topic of Psychic Vampires.  Learn today how to recognize them, set boundaries against them, and discover ways to release the stress from dealing with a psychic vampire.

In our last Blog Session, we wrote down background information about Emotional Vampires.  Today you will be able to compare the difference between an Emotional Vampire and a Psychic Vampire.

The first thing we need to do is to get our Journals and ink pens ready.  We are going to jot down the definition of a Psychic Vampire...

Journal Notes

Psychic Vampires, also known as energy vampires, are emotionally immature individuals who drain the time and energy from those around them.  They are usually highly self-interested and lack empathy.  The relationships they form are largely self serving.  You can deal with psychic vampires by identifying psychic vampires in your life, setting firm boundaries with these people, and working on your own sense of self esteem and self worth.

Identifying a Psychic Vampire

Familiarize yourself with the various types of psychic vampires.  Psychic vampires come in a variety of forms.  Relationships that drain our energy can manifest in a variety of personality types.  Learn how to recognize the various forms psychic vampires can take.

• Narcissistic psychic vampires have grandiose senses of self importance and entitlement.  They tend to lack empathy and become withholding or cold if you don't do things their way.  This is because they have little capacity for unconditional love.
• Victim vampires tend to see the world through the lens of "poor me."  They have pity parties on a frequent basis.  They believe the world is inherently against them and to blame for their unhappiness. They tend to drain energy by constantly and sometimes intensely complaining about problems but refusing to try any potential solutions you suggest.
• Controlling energy vampires have a need to control and manipulate your actions.  They often invalidate your emotions in order to dominate you or put you down.
• Constant talking psychic vampires take over conversations by constantly sharing their own feelings and experiences without giving you an opportunity to contribute.  They rarely take a breath when they are talking to you.  They are in essence motor mouths.  They might also invade physical boundaries, moving in so close you can feel their breath on you.
• Drama queen/king psychic vampires drain energy by exaggerating small instances.  Being late for a meeting is their typical m.o., so that they may draw attention to themselves while walking in late. They also convey small matters in a way that over-inflates their own importance, for better or worse.

EVALUATION

Make a list of your relationships

Evaluate your relationships.  Take a minute to assess your relationship with potential psychic vampires.  Question whether or not you feel drained by these people and whether the relationship is mutually beneficial.

• Are you the type of person who has a strong capacity for empathy?  Oftentimes, psychic vampires take advantage of those with a high emotional capacity as they take longer to get fed up.  Are you the type of person who's accused of being too nice?  Do you frequently find yourself in relationships that feel one-sided?
• If a relationship seems draining, question whether it's mutually beneficial for both parties. Psychic vampires thrive on one-sided romances, connections and friendships.  Think of the last time you were in emotional distress.  Was this person there for you?  Did he or she strive to listen or make the situation about themselves?

Tune in to your own feelings.  If you have encountered a psychic vampire, there are physical and emotional side effects.  You might have a relationship with an energy vampire if you display any of the following symptoms:

• Heavy eyelids and an increased need for sleep
• Low mood and slight agitation
• Desire to binge eat carbs and other comfort foods
• Feelings of anxiety, depression, and negativity
• You feel put down frequently
• Your emotional sensitivity has increased
• Discomfort being around noise and/or incessant talking by others
• Increased cigarette smoking if you are a smoker or former smoker

For your own protection:  Set firm boundaries The first step to dealing with a psychic vampire is by setting firm boundaries.  If psychic vampires realize you have limits, they'll back off from you and search for other victims.

• Be very clear about what you can and cannot do for this person.  Explain, in no uncertain terms, what amount of your time, space, and energy is reasonable and what is not.  Try saying something like, "I am perfectly happy to talk with you about your problems, but when you refuse to listen to any possible solutions or let me help you feel better I need to step away."
• Try to set boundaries on your own end, especially if you're dealing with a narcissistic psychic vampire.  Try to remind yourself you should not fall in love or form a strong friendship with a person of this emotional capacity.  It is not possible for them to love you back.
• Body language helps as well.  If a psychic vampire tries to break boundaries, cross your arms and break eye contact.  This sends a signal for them to "Back off", and it lets them know that your feelings are signaling "I can't and won't deal with this today."

Step back if you feel controlled.  Psychic vampires thrive on controlling others.  If you feel like your time and space is being controlled by another person, take a step back from the relationship.

• If a psychic vampire is trying to control you or offering unsolicited advice, cut them off with a firm declaration that you do not need their advice.  Try something like, "I appreciate you offering advice, but I need to work through this on my own."
• People often internalize criticism from psychic vampires.  You end up with an inner critic, just as harsh as the psychic vampire.  Work to shut down the voice inside yourself that tells you you're incapable of making your own decisions. If you find yourself putting yourself down, pause and think, "That's negative and not true." 

Stay away from psychic vampires.  After a certain point, you might have to break off the relationship or at least lessen the bond.  If a psychic vampire continues to violate boundaries and demand too much of your time and emotional energy, you need to work on keeping your distance.  Don't return texts or phone calls and limit the time you spend with this person.

Eliminate Stress ~ Practice deep breathing.  It can be stressful and exhausting to deal with a psychic vampire.  Deep breathing can help you relax, and it will also help you with restoring some sense of calm, and can also be an invigorating activity.

• Throughout the day, place your hand on your lower stomach and breathe in.  Inhale in such a way that your hand on your stomach rises as your diaphragm expands.  Hold for three counts, and then exhale.
• Deep breathing can be a meditative practice. It slows down your thoughts and provides your brain with needed oxygen.  This can boost your energy if it has been diminished by a psychic vampire.

Don't hesitate to see a therapist if you feel you need to.  Many people who end up in relationships with psychic vampires have underlying issues with self esteem.  Seeing a qualified therapist can help if you have problems with your emotions, feelings, and interactions with other people.  You can find a therapist by asking your doctor for a referral, seeing what is covered by your insurance provider, or seeking free counseling from your college or university if you are a student.

Get to know yourself.  Oftentimes, we make ourselves susceptible to psychic vampires because we do not know ourselves.  Spending time getting to know your own needs and wants can help you keep psychic vampires away.

• Journaling can help you become acquainted with yourself.  Write down your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis.  Choose a time, like in the morning or shortly before bed, to record your emotions.
• Spend time alone.  Work on making a conscious effort to spend time alone.  You'll be forced to consider yourself and your emotions if you choose to spend a few nights a week by yourself.
• Consider whether or not you are a people pleaser.  If you are unwilling to say "no" and afraid of letting someone down, this is bait for psychic vampires.  Try to move away from people pleasing tendencies to lessen the hold psychic vampires have on you.

How can you tell if someone is a psychic vampire?

You feel drained around them.  They are needy and they take up much of your time and energy.  Often, those are people who use your goodwill to gain benefits for themselves.  Telltale signs are that they are usually pathetic, aggressive, controlling, needy, drama queens/kings and nice when they need something.  Also, they complain, force you to listen to them, refuse advice for self-improvement, etc.  You just feel bad around them and in many cases they make you feel very uncomfortable.

What if YOU are the psychic vampire?

If you'd like to correct your behavior and stop being a psychic vampire, then you need to work on your empathy.  Always take into account how others are feeling.  Consider how you would be feeling in their position.  Don't ask for someone's help, resources, time, etc. if what you are asking for is something you can take care of yourself.  Before you speak or act, think about how your words or actions will affect others.

What do you do if your family member, mother, father, spouse or adult children are psychic vampires?

Make it difficult for whoever it is to drain your energy. Avoid them when possible, and surround yourself with an aura of white, protective light, and spend a great deal of time outside and in nature.

What if you want to marry the psychic vampire, and the psychic vampire wants to marry you?

The very fact that you want to marry this person reveals that you're hooked on the drama-drain cycle a psychic vampire is so adept at.  The best suggestion for you is that you stay away from such persons, for your own well-being.  However, if you insist that you want to spend your life with a person who drags you into the abyss of emotional wreckage, then you need to know the tools for coping.  Seek counseling and set boundaries immediately.  You set the boundaries in your life, so your beloved psychic vampire needs to know clearly where you draw the line.  P.S. Think of your children or children to come -- that might change your mind.

Until our next Blog Session

Remember to enjoy your week with relaxing music ~

MUSIC THERAPY

Peace, Love & Light,

 René

© Copyright - René Allen - JUNE 2017 - All Rights Reserved